Languages are Pretentious and Melted Chocolate is Warm
by Suki-Alanna
Summary: Lily Evans and Remus Lupin often patrol together, as they are prefects. The night before James Potter's birthday is full of antics and surprises.


_Here's__ to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends that turned into family._

_-Unknown_

Lily met him with a bag of food. They had fallen into a routine over the years. She brought food and he brought the Marauder's Map, which showed the entire school and everyone in it, for better or worse. For instance, it once let James Potter know that his girlfriend was cheating on him, but on the other hand the Marauders were able to easily make their way around the school undetected. It was also good for when Lily and Remus didn't want to patrol the entire school. They would hit a broom closet or two before finding an abandoned classroom and hanging out, talking, laughing and occasionally checking the Marauder's Map for anyone out of bed. It worked well, and it meant they didn't have to patrol the entire castle, which was incredibly time consuming and hard on the feet.

"Fabulam tibi narram," Lily said when she saw him. It was basically Latin for, "I have a story to tell you."

"Quit it," Remus laughed. "I don't understand a word of any of the many languages you show off in." Lily was a bit of a genius when it came to languages and was fluent in several. Every time a new teacher came to the school (which was often, thanks to the life expectancy of Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers) she would find out if they knew a language other than English and do her best to learn it from them. Learning Latin had helped her with the meaning of spells. Knowing the reasoning behind the incantation helped to cast the spell, or so Lily said. Remus himself, like many others, did not see the point in it.

"Io so," Lily said, which is Italian for 'I know.' She then went on to say in French, "I just like winding you up." Then German, "I could say that I was running to America to become a prostitute and you wouldn't even know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Come on, Miss Evans, let's get patrolling. I'm bored enough for both of us."

"Okay," Lily agreed, thankfully in English. "Who's first on broom closet duty?"

"Me," Remus admitted with a grimace. "Should we go?"

"Lead the way," Lily said, handing him the bag. He slung it over one shoulder and offered her his arm. "Ready?"

"Ready," Lily confirmed. They pranced out of the Gryffindor common room on the way to their first broom closet.

"Tomorrow is James's birthday," Remus remarked when they had been walking for just about ten minutes. That was one of the things Lily liked about him—he could just as easily be quiet as he could talk. Sometimes she needed long silences to recharge.

"I've heard a lot of rumors about your prank this year," Lily said, raising one eyebrow. "I should hope that I won't wake up tomorrow bound and gagged and in front of a huge vat of chocolate like more than one person has mentioned."

Remus let out a bark of laughter. "I'm sure James would love that. I should suggest that to Sirius for next year."

Lily punched his arm playfully. "Don't you dare!"

"It's too cold to be swimming in chocolate anyway," Remus said.

"Melted chocolate would be warm though," Lily pointed out. "Chocolate melts at body temperature, yeah, but that doesn't mean it would be cold. Certainly not freezing."

"But it would be about your temperature, which feels cold, right?"

"Actually, no. The average hot shower is about forty degrees Celsius, and body temperature is about thirty-seven degrees, so really it wouldn't be that cold, assuming we're all normal temperature here."

"I run about two degrees colder than you close to the full moon," Remus said. "That would be thirty-five, so chocolate would probably be way too hot."

Lily nodded. "We're almost to the split. Which broom closet do you suggest? The Black or the Potter?" The two broom closets were named after the two louder and more promiscuous members of the Marauders due to the amount they used those two broom closets, especially in fifth year."

Remus paused to think. "I'm in a James mood. Sirius messed up my game of chess with Peter earlier just when I was about to win."

"James Potter it is," Lily agreed. "Take point, fearless leader."

Remus did and approached the broom closet after putting down the bag of food. He threw the door open and jumped backwards. However, he misjudged his jump and ended up tripping over the food bag and landing sprawled on his back, a comical expression on his face. Once Lily saw he was okay she doubled over, laughing.

"Your face," she choked out. "Merlin, Remus!"

"I'll get you for that," he threatened, jumping to his feet. He ran after her shouting, "I know you're ticklish, Lily Evans."

It was odd, Lily mused later, how she and Remus could stay out until three am just talking and teasing like siblings. It was nice, though, she decided, because sometimes he could almost fill that Petunia shaped hole in her heart, and when she got married, two years after the death of her father, it was Remus Lupin who walked her down the aisle like a proud brother. Lily Evans loved Remus Lupin, but she was not _in_ love with him, and that made all of the difference.

**For the Yellow Rose Bowl comp. on HPFC. There's so many ridiculous antics that weren't included because they interfered with the actual storyline. I hope the** **last paragraph didn't mess up the friendship-only-ness. **

**I don't own HP. The quote above is from an unknown source and it is not there in its entirety. If I don't end up writing a whole fic on Remus and Lily patrolling over the years, I may post some scenes from this on tumblr later. Link in my profile.**


End file.
